What’s In a Name?

"What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
-Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

Good evening, Toads and Toadettes,

How do you spell hubris? Ok-for those who have had a bit too much Grey Goose® vodka (the Toad likes his with a twist of lemming), the word means, according to its modern usage, exaggerated self pride or self-confidence. It is an overbearing pride, often resulting in fatal retribution. Well, that would fit the Toad to a T. But how about the “former” Archbishop of a certain continuing jurisdiction? He’s retired. Really. He's not running things anymore. Right. Pay no attention to the man in front of the library. Rawk, rawk, rawk!*

So, it was with no trepidation (ain’t defining that for you) at all, that the Toad heard about a little building program going on. At a seminary. At a seminary in a continuing church jurisdiction about which it’s “dean” boasted that other major seminaries have weighed in-it's national material. Whooooo! Chum on the water! (Ok, for the Toad it’s more like “flies in the air”, but it just doesn’t ring right style-wise capisce?)

Some informed reader anonymously mailed the Toad a suave brochure entitled “St. Joseph of Arimathea Library.” As a fundraiser, it was very slick—lots and lots of money slick, with a proposed look of the biblioteque on the front, a floorplan in the interior, and, so help me, an “axonometric view” on the back. Yeow! The presentation’s gotta’ cost a bundle, and, given the stiffing this particular jurisdiction has given to its clergy, you’d better hope that the mailing is a donation. Otherwise, might be some ‘splainin’ to do. Ooops…sorry, it was done by the wholly- unrelated “St. Joseph of Arimathea Foundation”, which is completely unconnected to, oh, say, the Anglican Province of Christ the King. That would be the ever-decreasing body of oh, say, 1,800 folks is not mentioned anywhere in the brochure, at least in the copy sent to the Toad.. Get that, donors? Not anywhere.

Never mind that the website of that very same body counts this as “the seminary of the Anglican Province of Christ the King, a nationwide body of Christian Churches dedicated to maintaining traditional Episcopalian faith and practice in the United States.” Boy, the Toad could go a whole lot of places with that name "Episcopalian" (note the capital letter, rawk, rawk, rawk!*) And he will. Later. But, let’s turn to the moment to the front graphic of this little flyer. The crack technical staff at the Barking Toad has scanned it for your delectation.

What venerable, white-haired figure do you see in the foreground with hand extended Moses-like? Could it be the “retired” archbishop of the APCK? Say it isn’t so! No one could be possessed of that much hubris. It must be a cleverly-generated computer homunculus of some white-maned, gent in clerics standing outside of a non-existent building in Berkeley, California in which his office is located. Sure looks like a certain past-prelate. And we really like the limo in the foreground. Mercedes? Of course, always go top shelf, bunky!

But now to the meat of the reinvention of this seminary, now being subtly pushed as an adjunct to the University of California (fraudulizer® alert!). The priest who passed this to the Toad once was a contributor to this seminary--gave real jack to it and hucked his people to do the same. He has a number of good buddies in black who got out of it intact, with a pretty good education. (Many didn’t stay in one piece, but, that is a for another time, boys and girls. Wait for it.) It was supposed to be a two-year S.T.B. (not STD-that would be another problem) program to support a traditional Anglican Church. Non-accredited-ok, we’ll spot that-but residential and with a chapel and a real faculty. Oops, boys and girls! Guess the windows weren't closed against that rarified Berkeley air.

Lots of men started rolling through on the “battlefield commission” standard. You know, show up two weeks and be a priest. Different from St. Table Tops’ how? Oh, yeah, you get to drink in the "mystique of the episcopacy for two weeks".

Formation? Naw. Verification of ability? Naw. Green card? Not necessarily (at least says the palooka who sent this to the Toad.)

What we’ve got is a collapsing continuing church that’s trying to reinvent itself as a seminary and “campus ministry”-that would be the rowing team at old U.C., noted for their devotion to…well…something. Don’t look too closely out there at foundations or ownership or management stuff.

The Toad, who has been accused of going too light on “mainstream” continuers whoever they are, was challenged to confront this. Well, over some dry gin and moist towlettes we confronted the rest of the solicitation and faced the inevitable image: Tim and Tammy Bakker. By what name do you call hubris? Let’s pick a few.

You can have “Naming Opportunities” for this pile of rubble in Berkeley (Native--American for “Pay Too Much For Living With Godless Dopeheads”). Here are a few from the flier:

Solarium/reading Room $200,000
(that’s a lot of sun)
Kitchen $150,000
(hope there’s a ‘wave)
Courtyard $200,000
(we don’t have to build anything)
Water Feature $ 40,000
(Toad don’t wanna’ know)
Bookcase $ 20,000
(Ikea? Heard of it?)

The bottom line is an ambitious program for a continuing church that couldn’t even raise matching funds to meet a most generous matching grant to build parishes--er, build parishes..Great Commission...anyone out there? All of this comes a at a time when some in that “jurisdiction” came to their senses and sought to get away from a cult of personality. (Look at the figure in the picture. Can anyone say “Lenin’s Tomb”?)

So here it is, boys and girls. A once noble effort, admittedly with some fine graduates, abandons its roots to become a “seminary” and “student ministry” with no mention of “continuing Anglicanism” or even “Episcopalianism”. It’s trying to raise swag at $20k a bookcase for an operation that has how many full time students? And the Toad just knows that the big gun donors will be lining up…as long as they are off their medication.

Below-Not a Seminary (yet)

By all reports, the big cheese in this is a student of Russian history. Toad ain’t no ecclesiastic, but he is a political sort in the pond. Lessee’…Lenin, and later Stalin, gulls Western investors into plunking money into the Potemkin village of Russia. (GM, Armand Hammer…anyone listening?). Money is used for whatever purpose the leader deems. (How much is left over on a $20k bookcase?)

Peasants, kulaks, middle class and personal friends are killed off or exiled.

So, here it is. The second part of the name hubris-the older sense. In Ancient Greece, “hubris” referred to actions taken in order to shame the victim, thereby making oneself seem superior. Check out the guy in the courtyard in that first picture. He’s never done that. Or anyone on his board.

Boys and girls, hubris was a crime in classical Athens. It was considered the greatest sin of the ancient Greek world. The category of acts constituting hubris for the ancient Greeks apparently broadened from the original specific reference to molestation of a corpse (God knows, we don't want to molest or annoy our jurisdiction), or a humiliation of a defeated foe, to molestation, or “outrageous treatment,” in general. Let’s check the tally from the Continuum site: Edwards, Novak, Nalls, Hart. The Toad knows of more. But, what more do we need?

What’s in a name? The name is well...you know who he is...and it ain't Moses. And you can add your name to the mausoleum in the hope that amid the whited sepulcher, a few more good men are raised up. The Toad bets you can even have dinner at the Faculty Club.

When you are done, the Toad wants to put up a seminary close to home. Ann Arbor’s relaxed marijuana laws make it a great place for fund raising. A little of the old incense and the donors will name a hash pipe “Vince” for ten grand and not remember in the morning. At least they don’t want to remember. Rawwwwwwk!*

Yr. Obed. Serv.,

Roy Aldous Toad, DD-VS (Very Specious), LSMFT, D.Phil. (Carolina Coast University); B.A. (summa cum laude)(Southern States University)
*The Sound of One Toad Barking