Toad on the Road“A picture is worth a thousand words.”
-attrib. Napoleon Bonaparte, French General, Politician, Emperor, and Man About Town
Well, Toads and Toadettes,
-attrib. Napoleon Bonaparte, French General, Politician, Emperor, and Man About Town
Well, Toads and Toadettes,
The Toad has been on a well-deserved vacation. Overcome by the flurry of postings by some guy named “Anonymous”, he filled up the cooler, fired up the Toadmobile and set out looking for adventure.
Okay, pally, the Toad actually just turned off the phone, turned up the air conditioner and tried not to leave Toad Hall. There are too many anonymi out there, many of them clergy throwing fits over having their little oxen gored, and we just are having none of it. (By the way, boys and girls, particularly you anonymous ones, Blogger does let the Toad suss out your real identities. Oooops. Could be someone’s in for a public spanking—and you won’t even have to pay extra like you usually do. Rawk!*)
But, venture out the Toad did at last when h
e ran out of Peppermint Schnapps for the Buzzard’s Breath Cocktails that powered him through August. Driving through the countryside, he encountered the little Episcopal church in the photos. You observant readers will note that churchyard was filled with buzzards, as was every square inch of the roof. Okay, pally, they are might be hard to see without downloading and enlarging the happy snaps. Or, maybe you can just squint a bit to see the prown scavengers strutting about. What did you expect, Ansel Adams? The scene presented a statement that was at once theological, ecclesiastical, hierarchical (hint: who’s on top?), and demographic. Truly, as old Boney sez, “A picture is worth a thousand words.”
Now, it’s time for another frosty
Buzzard’s Breath Cocktail
Ingredients
1/2 oz Peppermint Schnapps
1/2 oz Amaretto
1/2 oz Coffee Liqueur
Directions
Pour ingredients into a shaker half filled with ice. Shake vigorously and strain into a shot glass.
Serve in a Shot Glass
Seven or either of these and you’ll be plucking dead animals off the highway, or attending the nearest branch of THE EPISCOPAL CHURCH. Same difference. Rawk, rawk, rawk.*
Yr. Obed. Serv.
Roy Aldous Toad, DD-VS (Very Specious), LSMFT, D.Phil. (Oxen.)
Prelate-Communion of Anglican Cranks in America (CACA) Original Jurisdiction (C'mon--you can't prove it's not real!)
*The Sound of One Toad Barking
8 comments:
Very much enjoyed your Buzzard post. By way of thanks, here's a Haiku:
Well, he's dead now,
The world heaves a sigh.
Murdering Commie.
God bless.
Hm. I had thought the classic haiku pattern was 5-7-5, not 4-5-5.
Good point - I cheated; counted 'he's' as 2 syllables and 'world' + 'heaves' as 2 syllables. Why? I thought it sounded better.
We could add: 'is' to line 1, 'And all' to line 2. 'Murdering Commie' seems to work as is, interestingly.
Wonder what the Toad has to say about the goings on in Athens TX.
I thought the plural was Anonymice.
What's going on in Athens, TX?
Dear Toad -
I miss you. When will you be home? The pond isn't the same without your croak.
Do you have something for sloe gin? Rowan-berry liquour?
Ah, my friend Andrew and other fans of things amphibious, the Toad has been taking a bit of a rest to earn a living. (Yes, I know it is quite out of character and most irritating.) Expect the barbs to begin to flow again shortly.
Yr. Obed. Serv.,
Roy Aldous Toad, DD-LSMFT
Post a Comment