There's No There There (Really and Truly)

"You just hit 'em where they ain't!"
-- Wee Willie Keeler, one of baseball's earliest Hall of Famers, describing his success strategy

Good afternoon, Toads and Toadettes,

I just couldn't help myself. I swore that an afternoon of dedicated novel reading and gin swilling would keep the Toad out by the cement pond and away from the soft, warm glow of the computer. The incessant rustle of vestment cuffs brishing against the wallets of the faithful has brought me in to discover...a continuing church that is all website. And, even the website itself is unfinished.

While trying to locate one of the "churches" claimed as within something called the ACIC (Anglican Church Independent Communion), some of the boys in the research department disturbed my electronic reverie with non-stop barking. They found a little number called The Apostolic Anglican Church which proclaims it is "In Full Communion with The Apostolic Communion of Anglican Churches" or ACAC. This latter body which we couldn't locate, is distinct from the Orthodox Anglican Communion (R) which bills itself as "Really Traditional. Truly Anglican." (Their italics, not ours, pally.)

Well, we finally found a "jurisdiction" that is truly (gosh, we love that word) all miter and no bishop. Archbishop David L. Smith, Jr. sports an Office of The Metropolitan Archbishop and Primate located at...P.O. Box 93314, Cleveland, OH 44101. We checked the links on the website. Under "Ministries", there was, "Page Under Construction--Please Return Soon!" Likewise, a look at "Event Photos" yielded, you guessed it, "Page Under Construction--Please Return Soon!" And, for "News", the ubiquitous "Page Under Construction--Please Return Soon!"

Lest you think there was absolutely nothing on the site of The Apostolic Anglican Church, there were several likns...to other people's websites. Oh, yes, there is a "Donation" page that seems to be up and running. Just think, no overhead and messiness of an actual church, just a website perenially "under construction." No sermons to write, all that is necessary is a broken link to sermonaudio.com where you can go to hear someone else's sermon. Just get the marks...er...congregation to click on the "Donation" button and you are on your way to "helping yourself".

So, the new Dr. Roy A. Toad Award for Minimalist Continuing Anglican Churches goes to the Apostolic Anglican Church and its post box primate. Really and Truly.

Yr. Obed. Serv.,


R. Toad, DD, LSMFT
(NOT a bishop)