Tuesday, July 31, 2007

OF CLERGY EDUCATION AND TABLE-TOP SEMINARIES

"It is easy thus to outline a few external characteristics of the seminary, but difficult to picture its inner life."
-Herbert Baxter Adams

Dr. Toad received the following from a continuing Anglican enrolled in an an accredited residential seminary who had received an advertisement from one of the on-line, "low-cost" Anglican "seminaries":

"Here is a fraudulent seminary if I have ever heard of one! I hate to say it but I am getting so tired of every hack job and wacko out there getting a doctorate of whatever from St. Whoever's Seminary and calling them selves The Right and Most Rev. whoever of whatever Anglican Church. Its ridiculous!"

I have left off the name of the august educational institution referred to in the e-mail pending a bit of investigation (but you know who you are). However, I do note that sham seminaries and questionable degrees (ask me about my "LSMFT", dare ya') abound, and that "clergy" with no visible education, much less formation seem to infest the waters of Christendom. Lest I be unfair, although it's the Toad's blog and I can be as unfair as I wish, the phenomenon is not just limited to the traditional Anglican world. There are vague Bible College degrees aplenty in other parts of the world.

On the one hand, on-line delivery of education, even theological education, can be a cost effective and time saving way of addressing the need for an educated clergy. On the other hand, there is the matter of spiritual formation which you can't get in the soft, warm glow of the computer screen. More to the point, there are any number of entities claiming to confer a degree on the pay-as-you-go plan; e.g. pay us and go with a certificate suitable for framing without worrying about all of that tedious coursework. Then these "clergy" go perpetrate fraud on the unsuspecting worshipping public, frequently burning down the crops and salting the earth.

It's enough to make a Toad bark.

So, here's the deal, Toads and Toadettes. If you have a notion that someone may be running a seminary that is a bit...umm...shall we say "sketchy", send us a post, a link and a brief statement as to why you might think there is a whiff of fakery. And, gang, it has to be a real reason and not because you just don't like St. Swithun's On-line College of Theology and Diesel Engine Repair.

The Barking Toad will put out a periodic article on them, and apply the fraudulizer. Those running the seminaries will be welcome to provide a defense (but no advertisements) setting forth the reasons why their offerings are real. But if you can't substantiate your claims, it will be a rough ride. We promise.

We'll also be looking them up to see whether they have an accreditation of any kind. ATS is the gold-standare, and we realize that there are regional and state accrediting bodies, so we'll be more lenient than say the Department of Defense. (Those party-poopers actually require a Masters of Divinity from a real school to serve as a military chaplain. What cheek!) However, if your alma mater is accredited by oh, say, the Greater Kazakhstanian Board of Independent Educational Bodies and 23rd of October Tractor Factory, you may be in for a thorough barking.

Finally, here's a tip for those of you interviewing prospective clergy, look up all of the schools on the resume, and, when dealing with a "Doctor", ask them for a copy of that dissertation or at least what their area of work. You'll be glad you did.

And remember, "Education is a progressive discovery of our ignorance."
-Will Durant (1885-1981) U.S. author and historian.

Yr. Obed. Serv.,


R. Toad, DD, LSMFT

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hello,

I would like to offer my services to your readership.

My name is The Most Rev. Postulant Vicar and Arch Bishop of the Diocese of Ol'Vaginny of the Confederate Catholic Church, Dibly Quagmire III.

I am so glad you choose to start with
our Seminary, St Whoever's. I was unaware you were so familiar with us. We is offerin' the following courses for your edification and enrichment. My school is Certifiable and that is undeniable.

Costs are indeed low; $500.00 per class per semester in my home at my illustrious kitchen table that belonged to my grand mother, God rest her soul. It is reputed to have been made of Gopher Wood. My granny wood always tell us to gopher the butter or gopher the milk, etc

Ministry of perpetual Angricanism 101
This course is designed to preserve the body through the generation of constant anger molocules which calcifies the frontal lobes of the brain causing a state of preservation in preperation for the Rupture.

Gay Eye for the Almy Guy 102
In this course we will invite Vicki Gene Robinson, and his other associates to give advice on wardrobe and hairstyles. We will study the hymnody of Elton John.

Fishy Loafers or the science of Platology- working the collection plate for fun and profit.
In this class we will discuss accounting practices , slight of hand and tax free shelters and offshore investments and banking.

The One True Church 202. Here, strategies for buying BCP's on EBay, creating your own color succession chart in 3D (3D glasses are an addition $45.00 per pair), how to interpret the findings of Councils in order to claim other real Anglicans are actually no longer ordained.

The Placement of Shams 103
Shams are an important vestment and the correct color and choice of frills can have an impact on your office decor. Will those unsuspecting church ladies want to sit on your sofa? They will when we show you how to sew your own!

Deisel Engine Repair
With this class we will be looking at ways to reintroduce the Sulpher into the fuel mix. Sulpher is an important component of our eschatology and is a great alternative in your fragrance dispenser.

Finally we do insist on some familiararity with the sciences so we are offering Biology 101. please expect to dissect a toad and identify the innards- not for you PETA people.

I would be glad to answer any of your questions on our other classes.

Enroll now and get a credit of $100.00 towards your first Mitre purchase at Almy's and a pin up calander of Elton John.